The Promise
by lefty21
Summary: One shot followup to Anticipation, but other than being in the same universe it's hardly related.  After a tragic event Seth faces a very difficult conversation with his young daughter.


AN: This is a short follow up to Anticipation. It takes place about 5 years in the future and I think that's pretty much all you need to know. You really don't even need to have read Anticipation to have read this; the only real connection is that it's in the same universe.

Secondly, I'm not going to beg for reviews, b/c I kind of realized that I write because I want to tell the story, not because I want people to praise me or tell me how much they liked or disliked it. So if you don't have the time or motivation, don't worry about it. I won't not write because I don't get ten reviews or something. The only thing I ask is that, if there are any other SS writers out there reading this, _please_ write something, because I'm getting mighty sad not being able to find any new stories or updates every time I come on.

Seth inhaled deeply before letting out a labored breath as he tried to conjure the nerve to approach Emily.

It had been an exhausting day, and he was quite possibly the most tired he had ever been, but he knew he needed to do this before he could rest.

Summer was down the hall putting Noah to bed, a task Seth was becoming exponentially jealous of as the seconds ticked away. Noah was older than Emily. He was ten and he could take it all in stride. They had sat down and talked to Noah about the whole situation a few months before, and while it was never easy to lose someone you loved, he at least understood.

Emily was only four. She still had so much left to learn, and Seth felt like an evil monster for being the one responsible for having to take away this part of her innocence so early. But she had looked so lost and forlorn all day… through the service… and the reception… and the masses of offered condolences…

She was too young to understand what was going on. All she knew was that she would never see her grandmother again for a reason far too intricate for her little mind to comprehend at the moment.

So Seth had to explain. Or he had to at least explain it better than the mumbled explanations she had been given so far during this time of grieving. Summer had been the one to sit Noah down a year before after Neal's funeral, and now it was Seth's time.

"Hey munchkin…" he spoke softly as he slid through her door and approached her small form. "You all ready for bed?"

She looked so tiny stood on the other side of her pink canopy bed in her Disney Princess nightgown, and Seth's heart broke a little as he watched her nod, eyes glassy and lips frowning, her honey blonde waves bouncing on her shoulders.

He and Summer were both brunettes, and he knew from old pictures that neither of Summer's parents had light hair. His little Emily had gotten her hair color from his mother. And her blue-green eyes. His stomach clenched a little when he thought about how much more she would look like her grandmother when she got a little older.

He silently knelt beside her bed and smiled warmly at her, yet his eyes were empty. She watched on as he pulled back her purple satin comforter and pale pink sheet, creating a perfect little haven for her to burrow into.

She climbed up and shimmied into the narrow opening Seth had created between her bed and her blankets until she was completely cocooned up to her chin.

Seth smiled a little humorously at how cute she was, even with her confused eyes and forlorn pout marring her innocent face.

"Daddy…" she spoke softly and hesitantly. It was the first time she had spoken all day and Seth breathed a little sigh of relief knowing that they wouldn't have to send her to therapy at four-years-old because she stopped speaking.

"Yeah, Emmy?" he answered as invitingly as he could muster.

Tears glistened in her eyes. "I know you and mommy said that Grandma was really sick and I won't get to see her anymore… but why not? When Noah had the flu last Christmas I still got to see him… And when Kayla had her tonsils out we still got to see her…"

Seth breathed deeply and tried to mentally ready himself. "I know, sweetie. But Grandma was a different kind of sick. She had a disease, and some diseases can hurt people a lot more than Noah's flu or Kayla's tonsils could hurt them. The doctors were able to give Noah and Kayla lots of good medicines that could make them better, but the disease that Grandma had was a lot stronger than any medicines they could give her."

"So they couldn't fix her."

A single tear escaped Seth's eye as he shook his head and ran a comforting hand over her hair. "No…"

"And when the doctors can't fix you, you have to go someplace else to get fixed? Someplace where everyone else can't see you anymore?"

"Yeah," he nodded, "Something like that. You see, these last few months when Grandma was here, she was in a lot of pain, and when she found out that the doctors couldn't fix her, the only way to make the pain stop was for Grandma to leave her body and go someplace where there is no more pain."

"Someplace that we can't go and visit her at?" Emily asked sadly, though a hope still lingered in her voice that maybe her daddy knew some kind of special trick, some way to still see her Grandma.

He nodded again slowly as another reluctant tear slid down. "Yeah."

"That's what dying is? When you leave your body and go someplace else where no one else can go? Like Grandpa Neal last year?"

"Yeah, that's what dying is… When someone goes somewhere where there's no more pain or sadness, but the only bad part is they have to leave all the people they loved behind for a little while."

"Where do they go? The ones who die, I mean," she tried to clarify in a shaky voice.

Seth could tell she was trying to be strong; trying to not show any sadness or fear about all these sad realities she was learning about for the first time. His stomach tightened at the thought of her having to learn all of this now.

"Do you remember last Christmas when Grandma sat with you under the Christmas tree and told you all about angels and how they come from Heaven?"

She nodded.

"Well that's where a lot of people think that people who have died go."

"Heaven? But how do they know for sure where people go when they die if nobody's allowed to go after them?"

Seth shrugged helplessly, wishing he could offer his little girl something more certain, but he was really just as clueless as her. "No one knows for sure where people go, but a lot of people believe that it's Heaven."

Emily blinked a few times as she pondered his words before she looked up at him thoughtfully. "Do you believe in Heaven, Daddy?"

He sighed and stared intently at her little hands resting in her lap as he thought about what he should say. His family had never been really religious, and his mom had only ever humored him with tales of angels and Heaven when he was younger, and then it was only to take away some of the pain when his own grandmother had died. Seth had no idea what to say to Emily.

"I don't know, Emmy," he sighed, defeated.

"Oh…" Emily frowned and lowered her gaze to her hands.

"But…" he started again slowly, trying to choose his words very carefully. He didn't want to lie to her, but at the same time he couldn't stand the thought of leaving her feeling so hopeless. "I do believe there's something a lot bigger than all of us way out there, past all those stars and clouds in the sky you and Grandpa love to stare at so much." He tickled her sides slightly as he said this last part, and his mind danced a small victory at the sound of her soft giggle. "And I believe that whatever it is, Grandma's there right now, and she doesn't hurt anymore, and she's still going to be able to watch you at all your ballet recitals, and every time you beat me and Noah at Chutes and Ladders, and every single other important moment in your life. She'll still always be there as long as you make sure to keep her with you, even if you can't see her."

Emily nodded, a little more relieved now, seemingly more pleased with this answer than she had been with his other.

They sat quietly for about a minute, Seth petting her hair soothingly as he watched the proverbial wheels still turning in her head. He knew she wasn't finished; she was just trying to figure out how to ask her next question.

"Daddy?"

"Yeah?"

"Is everyone going to die someday?"

Seth groaned and once again resented that Summer gotten to have this conversation with Noah. He was older. He understood a little better. And Seth probably wouldn't have felt quite so much like he was taking something so precious away from Noah by having to tell him about death.

"Do you remember when we watched _The Lion King_ together?"

Emily nodded, but looked lost.

"Do you remember how Simba's dad talked about the circle of life?"

She nodded again, still clearly not following.

"Well that's how people work, too," Seth finally drew the connection. "Eventually, everyone has to die in order to complete the circle."

"So I'm going to die one day?" Emily questioned shakily, and Seth could tell she was trying very hard to hide her fear.

"But not for a very, _very _long time. You still have to start school, and make tons of friends there, and then you're going to go to college and become whatever you want. And you're going to grow up and have your own family, and your own job until, a long, long time from now, when you've already worked a lot and all your kids are all grown up, you can retire and surf all day just like Grandpa," he laughed with her as she giggled.

"And then, an even longer time after that, when you've lived a really long and really fun life, and you're just really tired and ready to go see Grandma and Grandpa Neal again, then you'll just move on to that place that we talked about."

"Heaven?"

He nodded once as he poked her nose gently to emphasize it before leaning forward and kissing it.

"And you and Mommy and Noah'll be there?"

"We'll all be there eventually," Seth nodded. "And then we'll all be able to spend forever together."

"Surfing with Grandpa?" Emily asked hopefully.

Seth laughed and ruffled her hair. "If that's what you want to do, then I'm sure you can do it."

"And shopping with Mommy?"

He nodded again.

"And coloring with you and playing games with Noah and building Legos with Uncle Ryan and Grandma?"

"Anything you want."

The contented smile disappeared from Emily's face as another thought came to mind. Her bottom lip trembled a little as she asked, "Are you and Mommy going to die before me?"

"Well," Seth started hesitantly, "Mommy and I are a lot older than you, and we might reach that point where we're ready to go a little sooner than you do."

"But I don't want you and Mommy to leave."

"Emmy…" Seth started soothingly and pulled her into a hug as tears started to slide freely down her cheeks. "Mommy and I aren't going to die for a really long time."

"How do you know? Simba's daddy wasn't old. Scar just pushed him off the cliff and then he had to leave Simba. What if that happens to you?" She pressed her head into his shoulder as her tears started to fall more freely.

"Sweetie, that wasn't real. And I promise that Ryan won't push me off a cliff."

"But what if something else happens?" she cried softly and buried her face deeper into his neck.

"You can't think like that, Emmy," he kissed the top of her head comfortingly. "You just have to believe that it won't."

She pulled back and sniffled some as she stared at him. "Do you promise you won't ever die until I do?"

Seth smiled sadly down at her. "I can't do that, Emily. And I can't lie to you. But I promise that I'm going to stay with you as long as I possibly can… Because as sad as you'd be if me or your mommy ever went away, we'd be a whole lot sadder if we ever had to be away from you."

"But Mommy was really sad last year when Grandpa died," she mumbled doubtfully in a small voice, memories of her mother refusing to eat and crying for a week straight last year after Grandpa Neal had died rushing into her mind. How could anyone possibly be any sadder than her mom had been when her daddy died?

"You're right," Seth nodded solemnly. "Mommy was really sad when that happened, but do you know the only thing that made her happy again after that?"

Emily shook her head slowly.

"You and Noah. Your Mommy and I love you guys so much that, even when Mommy was so sad about Grandpa, and even though I'm still really sad about Grandma, you and Noah mean everything to us, and as long as we have you guys we won't ever stay sad for too long."

The little girl stayed quiet for several moments, contemplating everything she had just learned, going over it slowly in her head. Finally her wide and glassy eyes slid upwards and stared at Seth meaningfully as silent tears slid from her eyes.

"No matter how old I am and how far away it is, I'm still going to really miss you when you leave…"

"That's okay…" Seth choked out quietly, fighting to contain his own emotions. All of his walls… all of his defenses that he had worked so hard to build over the past week to keep out the pain were suddenly crumbling under the penetrating gaze of his little girl. "I'm a lot older than you and I still really miss my mom right now…"

In that moment Emily seemed much more like a grown woman than just the four-year-old little girl she was as she reached up to wrap her father in a comforting hug. Though she had no idea how much comfort her small gesture brought him Seth knew it did more to ease his pain than any contrived condolences or tacky flower arrangements ever could have.

"Don't be sad, Daddy," she spoke sweetly as she pulled back and kissed his cheek. "Grandma's not really gone; she's just in a new place."

Seth smiled and tried hard to muster up a smile for her. Without a word he leaned forward and kissed her forehead before letting her settle back into her bed.

Silently he pulled her covers back up to her chest before leaning down so she could wrap her arms around his neck and plant her own goodnight kiss on his cheek.

"Goodnight, Daddy."

"Are you sure you're okay now?" he asked concernedly, staring intently for any signs that she was still upset.

She nodded firmly and Seth couldn't detect any reason to doubt it. Unlike when Seth had come in earlier to find her looking so heartbroken now she just looked overwhelmingly tired.

"Okay…" he nodded. "You know you can come get me or Mommy anytime if you feel sad again?"

She nodded again.

"Alright." He rose from his knees and watched her for a few more moments before he turned and slid through her open door.

His contorted eyebrows silently showed his surprise when he found Summer leaning against the wall just outside Emily's door.

"What — ?" he mouthed quietly as he stared at her.

She just smiled softly, her own tears glistening in her eyes, before she took his hand and led him slowly down the hall to their bedroom.

He closed the door softly behind him then let her lead him to their bed where she gently urged him to sit on the edge.

She sat down facing him and placed her hands on either side of his face, studying him intently for several moments before finally speaking softly.

"Are you okay?"

Seth shrugged helplessly before looking down, knowing that his eyes always betrayed his emotions to her. "I'm better than I was an hour ago…" he answered truthfully. "And I was better an hour ago than I was a day ago."

"Seth…" she whispered softly. "You've barely spoken to me in a week; you've barely spoken at all."

"I can't talk, Sum…" he mumbled shakily, still not looking at her. "It seems like every time I talk I end up crying again…"

"Cohen…" she urged his face up to look at her and she was met with his glassy eyes. "It's okay for you to cry. I cried for almost a month after my dad…"

Seth nodded, but she could tell he hadn't really heard her. He tried to drop his head again but she forced it to stay up as his eyes welled with more tears.

"Seth…"

He felt the pad of her thumb brush against his cheek softly and he instinctively moved his face into her touch.

"I know it hurts, but I promise it'll get easier…" By this time her own tears were glistening in her eyes and threatening to fall at any second.

It broke her heart to see him so sad, but she knew exactly how he felt, and she knew that there was nothing she could really say to make the pain go away, no matter how much she wanted to. When her father had died suddenly a year before from a heart attack she had been devastated. She didn't think she would ever get over it. She didn't eat or speak for a week straight. She couldn't even bring herself to speak at his funeral.

And poor Seth had basically been a single parent for the week, taking care of an antsy three-year-old, a grieving nine-year-old and a distraught wife. And it was only when, the day after Neal's funeral, Seth forced her to go in and talked to Noah that Summer finally began to recover.

And so she had done the same to Seth, encouraging him to help Emily understand what was going on all the while hoping their little girl could help him find a new perspective on the matter just as Noah had done for her.

"Please, Seth…" Summer finally pleaded after a seeming eternity of unbearable silence, tears falling as she tried desperately to get him to open up. "Just talk to me…"

It was breaking her up inside that she couldn't help him. After her father died he had held her together, comforting her for hours as she cried into his shoulder, and it was killing her now that he wouldn't let her do the same for him.

All Seth could bring himself to do was look up and shake his head once pitifully before he wrapped his arms around her tightly and buried his face against her soft neck. He inhaled the scent of her perfume and shampoo shakily before pressing his face completely against her skin.

Summer sighed and wrapped her arms tightly around his waist. She ran her hand up and down his back slowly, hoping it would sooth him as she pressed her lips to the side of his face.

"Cohen…?" she asked hesitantly after several minutes of silence. She didn't want to bother him or force him to talk, but she really needed him to tell her that he was going to be okay. She had been worried sick about him for a week, barely able to eat or sleep as she watched his lifeless body move from task to task.

"Summer…?" he finally looked up at her meaningfully, and she could see something very desperate in his eyes.

"Seth…" she answered him slowly but unwaveringly, certain she was ready to give him anything he could ask of her. If he wanted to stay in bed for the next week and not worry about work or the kids she would let him. If he just wanted to run away for awhile she would book the next flight to Tahiti she could find and beg Ryan and Taylor to watch the kids. If he just wanted to spend the next days alone with the kids she would step back and go to Ryan and Taylor's or go spend some time with Julie. She just really needed him to be okay, and she would do anything he asked of her if it meant that he would be.

"Sum…" he repeated shakily, clearly fighting to maintain a steady voice as his glassy brown eyes bore into hers. "Promise that you won't die before I do…"

She exhaled slowly as her eyes remained firmly planted on his. It seemed an eternity that she spent staring back at him before she finally responded to his words. Never tearing her eyes from his, she crawled slowly into his lap and rose up until her face was just above his and she could press her lips softly against his forehead.

She could sense his body relax a little under her, and she could feel hers do the same as a result.

Finally she pulled away just enough to replace her lips with her own forehead leaning against his and her eyes staring unwaveringly into his.

"As long as you promise to never die before me…"

She knew it made no logical sense, but when she felt his head nod slightly against hers she knew she had said the right thing, the _only_ _thing_, that he had really needed to hear.

He would be okay… She would stay with him for as long as he need, and he would be okay…


End file.
